It doesn’t look like that medical career is ever going to happen for me. That said, I’d like to think that I’d be able to hold medical equipment with more conviction portrayed by the downright awful controls in Surgeon Simulator on PS4, where my dainty grip would indicate I’m holding a piss-soaked towel rather than a bone cutting electrical saw.

‘But that’s part of the fun’ I hear you say. Admittedly, anyone in the room that watched my increasingly futile attempts at a heart transplant were in stitches, probably because they know how angry I was getting. When you’re trying to control the action though, the joke wears thin pretty quick, especially when one of the multiple glitches sees sheets get stuck to your fingers or your hand gets trapped in the rib cage or on a table rail.

There might be a review coming soon, but I should probably stop using Dr ‘Hi everybody!’ Nick videos for tutorials if I want to make any more progress. If that bunch of mindless plebs in Scrubs and Grey’s Anatomy are supposed to be surgeons, I really should be doing better. For now I’m going back to having nightmares about having to review an Octodad/Surgeon Simulator crossover.